Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Age of Silence

After Mother's first (of many) experiments with LSD, she escaped the tumultuous, carnal desires that this "Bukowski" had endowed her with. The one thing she found that she could not escape, however, was the fact that her pupils had melted.

In a desperate attempt to regain the sight she had lived so long without, she turned, spun, collapsed, and smiled her way into Shmovrek's arms. It was here that she unforgivably asked him for the one gift he was capable of giving: his own eyes. His response, to this day, is somewhat foggy and inaccurate due to its epic nature. What I am told (by a naked creature of the woods who spoke to me through organic symbols), is that he opened his mouth, emitted a noise equivalent to that of a sonic boom, and killed every aborigine within a six mile radius. It was only after Mother went deaf that she regained her sight.

Soon after, Mother and Shmovrek found themselves lost in the middle of a murdered forest. Who knew SoUnD could be so PoWeRfUl? Mother certainly didn't.
What happens next may shock you.

As we all know, Shmovrek was not given to Mother out of affection. He was there on duty, to persuade mother with his brisk and burly charms, to force her to heed the word of Juniper.

Juniper's next task was simple, yet would require all the strength in the world.

Mother was to build, with only the primitive resources around her, a device that was capable of time travel, and transport herself to the year 1998 where she would appear in the video for Britney Spears' first hit single, "Baby One More Time."

The answer to the next question is fairly simple: before its debut in October of '98, the chief editor asked his assistant to pause the video at 2:16. He began crying immediately, tossing papers, equipment, stools, pizza, etc. At that precise moment in the video is where Mother makes her appearance, and is also where the editor found who he only had pictures of since childbirth:
his biological mother.

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