Thursday, January 21, 2010

the age of raw hide

the guirtle consumed mother werewolf. she was beyond oxygen consumption. fortunately, bukowski the bald eagle was aware of this tragedy. he glanced at his rolex. a murmur in his throat thrusted him forwards. he became a new type of creature: a dinosaur. in the meantime, mother werewolf blue and tender, began to coo his name. "bukowski, bukowski, where are you my shorty?" the tremors of the earth and the vibrations of sunwaves cast upon her silky face. immediately, he knew what to do and what not to do. carefully, and nakedly, he swung his new giant tail in the general direction of mother werewolf. by the fibers of her coat, he gingerly caressed mother werewolf's eyelashes and said, "the silkiest fiber the world will ever know." and then he knew the truth about his stepfather. he had been there all along, rubbing and tracing fingertips along the epidermis, back and forth, like angels singing on clouds. the dementia his stepfather had endured for many years was thus removed permanently. mother werewolf, again, felt the departure of lost souls, prehistoric and beyond. she felt the release and the rough caress of calico on her eyeballs. Her pupils melted and then she felt nothing in her soul. thus came the footprints of sunsets in the atmosphere of cottontails and blasts of universes beyond.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Day Four: The Age of Trust

After waking from her open-eyed glory sleep, Mother awoke to realize that her new sense of sight had distracted her from her journey. After completely ignoring the instructions to wait at the bottom of the ocean for the whale, and destroying one of Junipers' disciples by tearing his head off, Mother discovered a new emotion that had not once touched her in her nineteen years of restless, guilt-ridden debauchery: sadness.

Mother had murdered. Her eyes began to glaze over--not with tears--but with YeLLoW, which she would later realize while doing a self portrait, never left her.
Mother felt like she would never love again, and then realized,
She had never loved at all. Not even once.

It was only after this realization that Mother was given her first boyfriend.
Yes, he was given to her.

In an intricately-sewn plot to force Mother back on the journey she had so savagely strayed away from, Czar Juniper sent another accomplice to persuade her--one that she could not destroy with her canines, which were made of elephant ivory harvested in the Elephant Ivory Harvesting Incident of 220 B.C.

Mother, trying to see through the YeLLoW sadness, ran at 44 km per hour into what she thought was a tree. "Tree" turned out to be "Shmovreck," who turned out to be just Mothers' type.

Shmovreck cradled Mother's broken and highly unstable body with its matted fur. Crying, she sounded like a Songhua River Mammoth (as Mother had not yet reached the Age of Language).

And so, ironically, the Age of Trust began.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Mother was new to the to the mountains, streams, canyons, and fields of flowing flower beds. But what Mother was not new to was the scent and feel of her own werewolf body.

Shortly after Mother was born unto Earth during the latter part of the Paleolithic era, something strange yet rewarding started to happen to her...Born into darkness...she started to see.

Before this "sense of sight" era, Mother was accustomed to feeling the Earth and all her precious nature children with her front and back paws. Never before did Mother understand that there was more to God's glorious love-infested Earth than just touch, and sometimes if she was lucky, sound. Now, a new passion was exploding all across the land: SiGhT.

Mother's sight started out slowly one midmorning, just after breakfast, which she had found caked in her matted fur. Suddenly, she was blinded by a streaming yet glorious light facing her body. What was this? Mother thought she had died. But by singing her favorite Beach Boys song for 3 choruses, she decided that, no she was, in fact, not dead.

This was the moment Mother realized she had eyes: beautiful, beautiful eyes. One was blue with a mist of tangerine flanking it, the other was lazy but just as glorious. All these years Mother had just never opened her eyes...Oh the bountiful beauty she had been missing out on...

By process of elimination, Mother realized that what she had eaten for breakfast was actually mud, which gave her no nutritional value, and so set out with her new set of open-eyes to hunt the "laughy tickler" creature which she was accustomed to hearing each night...which she found out was actually a warm creature with wings, a beak, and talons...the creatures which would land on her in the night and peck at her face. Today, we know these creatures as "blue jays." Mother would come to know these creatures as "dinner."

LIFE!!! THIS IS CALLED LIFE!!! Thought Mother.

And she never closed her eyes again.
Not even to sleep.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Fear Ensues: The Era of Juniper

Mother was never the kind of being to ever let something so mystical frighten her...but this did. She felt new. She felt danger. She felt.

It kind of bothered Mother, that after all this time, there WAS an ocean in Colorado. No one had believed her when she brought up the subject.


When Mother arrived on the sandy shores of Colorado, she found something that she did not take kindly to. A crab. The crab did not bite her, did not seek out to harm her. It even said "heLLoOoo, this may seem cRaZy but...are you the Mother?"
And Mother bit his head off.

It did not take long before Mother had realized this was a test, a test from the Crab Czar. He had brought Mother here...what a fool she felt like....

She started yelling, crabmeat sewn between her teeth, "I. AM. MOTHER. SHOW YOURSELF and cease with this petty nonsense, Juniper."

Juniper was the Crab Czar. He was born on a farm. There were werewolfs there.

At this very moment Mother is sleeping, dreaming of September 14th, 223 B.C. when the event occured. I, Brotther, am channeling her dreams as I usually do, and Juniper sits to my left recalling the dialogue.


Friday, January 8, 2010

Day One, Rainbow Gathering, Colorado

The mystery begins here. It is 223 B.C., Mother sits gently atop a moss covered boulder in the center of a Rainbow Gathering in the deep woods of Colorado.

What we know now is this: Mother is a fantastical and omniscient woman, who in her journeys, discovered the fountain of youth while frolicking in a horse stable at the delicate age of nineteen.

In Colorado, twenty years later and with the lasting touch of youth, Mother finds herself immersed in activities such as heel clicking and face painting. Her most important memory is when she smoked a wild fern, and saw standing in front of her the silhouette of God.

Now, atop the boulder, Mother has one thought. She pulls out the scroll from her makeshift dress pocket where she found her first clue. It reads, "Sit atop the boulder. Wait for my voice. It will give the first instruction after you hear the first horn blow."

Ten minutes later, a horn blows. Mother waits.

Jump into the ocean, sit at the bottom until you can't hold your breath any longer. Seventeen minutes later, a whale will arrive and you will hold onto his fin until he transports you to the oxygen hole where you will find your next instruction..

Mother began the long and arduous walk towards the ocean, from the center of Colorado.